Healing With Bipolar

 I have been dealing with Bipolar since I was 11yo. This disorder has been tough. Sometimes I feel like giving up. Sometimes my thoughts race. And my emotions feel like volume constantly being turned up. Turned down. Then turned back up. 

The medication works but when it dips down. And getting low in my system. I feel sad and irritable. And I asked myself, is this who I am. Is the unmedicated me the real me. And I tell my friends and family to forgive me when I'm angry. I don't mean to be this way. And thankfully they understand. 

Some days I get tired of the cycle, tired of the constant chaotic thoughts. And anyone who can relate. I ask you don't give up. We are in this together. And I will lift up anyone who feels this way. Because I know your pain. It gets tough but keep your head up. 

Then when I'm happy and feeling on top of the world; I'm scared I will get Hypomanic. I fear the backlash and downside of Hypomanic happiness. My Psychiatrist told me don't think that way. Don't question happiness. And now that's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to hold like gold the joy I feel. 

I understand what it's like to have mental health issues. That's why I wrote my self-help poetry book for mental health called "Go Along Way". It has helped a lot of people. And one lady said I'm bringing a lot of joy in this world. If I know it or not. So I try to find purpose in helping people heal their minds. 

Even if it's your job to work at a restaurant ect. Find purpose in what you do and stay active to keep your mind off your troubles. If you're extroverted, keep in contact with people you love. And if you're introverted, read, exercise, do whatever you love to do when trying to recharge and take a break. Because you deserve it.